There's always something with me [Reflection]

I've been making a lot of excuses lately. And I've been accepting all the excuses I'm making for myself. In an attempt at accountability and transparency, I felt the need to call myself on this trend. I went to a mentor teacher today because I needed to spill it to someone. She reminded me that we go through phases in life and this could just be the swell of one of those phases; perhaps there really is something in the way of the things I'm trying to do now. But I can't forget, as my high school football coach always told us, I don't care how rocky the water is, just bring in the ship.
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I realize this is a bit vague, so I'll give an example of one of these "Well, there's this thing..." moments I've been letting myself get away with lately. I accepted the role of Second Chance Reading (SCR) teacher this summer a few weeks after I accepted my current position. I had never (and really still haven't) taught SCR before, but I was at the point where I wasn't about to say no to my principal (<-- excuse already). SCR is a program with a strict weekly schedule. Certain activities happen each day in a sequential order. The excuses for why I haven't started SCR yet are numerous:

• SCR is supposed to take place during my Learning Lab time. Learning Lab is a focused study hall. Students who need help with Math would go to the Math teacher during that time, etc.
  
• The students who should be in SCR are all over the building all day long; they do not all have Learning Lab during the same period.
• Learning Lab runs on opposite days from Band or Chorus. If a student is in Band or Chorus, they are only in Learning Lab every other day.
• Learning Lab is also my students' Study Hall. Of a 42-minute period, I can really only devote around 25 minutes to SCR.

Today, I went to our first SCR training of the school year, after 3 days of training this summer. Today was a review and reflect day. I found myself saying "Well, there's this thing..." more times than I would like. Then I started to get down on myself to how much I've been copping out lately.

I'll say things like, "This is technically my second year as a teacher, but last year I was only half-time and this is my first real classroom." And, "I've never worked with a textbook or had a real curriculum before." Or, "I'm really not trained to teach Social Studies."

When did I get so annoying? I am officially going to snap out of it. I can't make any definitive promises, as (no really) scheduling really is an issue with getting my SCR class going.

But I am no longer going to look for excuses. I am going to seek out solutions.